Friday, September 16, 2016

Joe Bob's Search for "The Nair Witch"

Ever wonder where this awesome promo shot came from?
With hype in full swing for Adam Wingard's new take on the Blair Witch franchise I thought it would be fun to look back to the year 1999, when the original Blair Witch Project took horror audiences by storm.  During this time our hero and legendary drive-in film critic, Mr. Joe Bob Briggs, was in the later years of his classic TNT Monstervision series.  These were dark times for the show as TNT had forced Joe Bob to relocate to Hollywood, the show was referred to as Joe Bob's Hollywood Saturday Night instead of Monstervision, and there was a noticeable attempt being made to show more mainstream films, presumably to lure in people that wouldn't normally tune in for the cult and horror flicks Joe Bob usually featured.  For Halloween that year Joe Bob hosted an all night marathon of films (Carrie, Child's Play 2, Phantasm, and Phantasm 2) with the host segments forming an ongoing narrative not unlike his famous Friday the 13th marathon.  The loose plot is that Joe Bob, along with Rusty (always my favorite Monstervision Mail Girl) and another lady named Summer (who I'm not really familiar with but who is apparently the dog walker of the lady who Joe Bob is staying with) are searching for the mysterious Nair Witch, "the hairless hag whose blood curdling screams can be heard all over the Hollywood Hills when she gets her twice daily bikini wax".

The show opens and immediately stays true to the "found footage" aspect of The Blair Witch Project, the film it is obviously parodying.  Joe Bob's crew can't find him but they find a VHS tape and decide to see what is on it.  As we watch the tape we see the main man being filmed with a handheld camera by Rusty as they prepare to go looking for The Nair Witch, some "legendary" creature who has a different non-sensical backstory depending on who is asked.  First they order delivery groceries to take along and then head to Joe Bob's trailer to pick up some beer.  Along the way they encounter decorative plastic rock piles and hanging popsicle stick figures.  As they head off into the woods Joe Bob never misses an opportunity to introduce a movie or give some interesting trivia even as he goes more and more crazy as they get progressively more lost in the Hollywood Hills.  The whole thing wraps up in a typically bizarre fashion that doesn't make much sense honestly.

The whole thing is silly and at this point pretty cliche but Joe Bob elevates it as he does most things.  I never tire of hearing him talk about movies and these special editions of Monstervision always just seemed even more special than the already awesome weekly show.  The whole thing would probably make more sense (especially the ending) if one had been watching the episodes leading up to this one but it seems that some of the integral plot points, like why Joe Bob is staying at that house, to this parody have been slightly lost in time over the 17 years since this originally aired.  Sadly, less than a year later from when this episode aired Monstervision would be good forever, leaving Saturday nights Joe Bob-less and far more lame.  Speaking of the time period, some of the bits definitely act as a time capsule of 1999.  It's funny to see characters wearing Star Wars Episode 1 backpacks and even toasting with the Star Wars character cans of Diet Dr. Pepper that were everywhere at the time. (Interesting side story: I remember trying to collect every one of the Star Wars collector cans during that time and then putting a ton of them in my closet where they would surely appreciate in value.  The only thing they did was explode at some point and get soda all over a bunch of my stuff).  It all just goes to show how much Blair Witch mania had taken over at that time, and it's crazy that it's been so long since the original movie premiered.  It's cool that there is a new film coming out directed by an awesome director so hopefully it will be good.  Before you head out to the theater to check out the new one, check out this awesome bit of Joe Bob nostalgia right HERE.

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